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Cougar Dating: 10 Rules For Dating An Older Woman

Now that you have spotted an older woman, you’ve really loved her. So what next? Are you ready to handle her? If you have been dating young ladies, you need to understand that courting an older woman “cougar” is quite different. These women have seen it all: they are mature and can detect immaturity from a distance. Although it is assumed older single women are all interested in young, energetic men, it’s not obvious that she will fall for you.

Therefore, it’s important to arm yourself with knowledge on how to handle these older ladies. You must prove your worth to her and understand what she expects from you. This is the best article for you if you’re thinking of courting an older lady.

So, What Are These Rules For Dating Older Ladies?

For every relationship to thrive, some rules must be adhered to. The same applies to courting an older woman. These women are sophisticated due to their past experiences in relationships. However, they are looking for another chance to feel loved by the right man. Here are the fundamental rules that will help you win an older lady.

1.   Choose The Type Of Woman You Want To Date.

There are two main types of older women:

  • Beta cougar
  • Alpha Cougar

Alpha cougars are complicated to deal with. They are classy, intelligent, financially stable, and have good careers. Besides, they are super confident and understand their sexuality. Approaching them with cheesy chat may not work. Most young men find Alpha women quite intimidating. But with the right mindset and understanding of what she needs, you will win her heart.

On the other hand, beta cougars are different. Older women in this category are not sexually empowered or independent like alpha cougars. She is looking for a young man to make her feel good and loved. Beta women mostly fall for alpha young men. Now gauge yourself and choose the type of cougar you want to court.

2.   Confidence Is Key

A cougar may be looking for a young man to date, obviously inexperienced, but a man with supreme confidence. She wants someone who will take charge and guide her. Take your space and be the man regardless of your age. If you go for a date, be the one choosing the venue and the sitting spot. Moreover, be confident even in the way you talk to her. That’s what she expects from a man.

3.   Always Dress Well, And Smell Nice

Just like you dress well to impress a lady, the same is expected of you when looking for a cougar. These are classy women, probably financially stable, and they don’t settle for anything less. Thus, even if you don’t meet their standards financially, try to be neat, dress well, and smell nice. Invest in classic perfume and nice clothing to make you stand out anytime you meet her. Get a nice haircut, be a person she would be proud to hang around with, and even introduce to her friends.

4.   Avoid Talking About Money.

Cougars are not interested in your money. The lady you’re eyeing may have a good career, investments, and she is financially stable. Moreover, she’s older than you, meaning she may have dated wealthy guys in her early ages. So, money is not a factor; avoid that conversation to be safe. Even if you have some good income, avoid the money talk.

5.   Don’t Mention Her Age

Of course, she knows you’re a young man. So, don’t make age a big issue. Just make her comfortable around you. Don’t even bother asking about her age. Keep the conversation around your love for her and her kids if she has any. If she mentions her age, always be careful and tell her you don’t care about it.


6.   Make Her Feel Loved And Desirable

Naturally, women love attention. One of the reasons an older woman will be looking for a young man is because her agemates are not giving her enough attention. Make sure you always compliment her, tell her how beautiful she is, and don’t ignore what makes her feel sexy and loved. Always comment on her social media posts, especially if she posts her photos.


7.   Avoid Subjecting Her To Dramas

By their age, cougars may have gone through a lot in their previous relationships. Some are divorcees and probably single because they couldn’t handle the marriage dramas. Thus, saving her from relationship chaos would be a good selling point to win her. Be calm in every situation, and give her a different perception of being in love.

8.   Honesty Is Key When Dating Cougars

Most young men love to lie to women, maybe trying to fit in their class falsely. However, that card will not work when courting a cougar. Just be honest and be yourself. At her age, she has met many men and can tell when you’re not being honest.

9.   You Will Have To Do Some Chasing

Don’t expect a 40-year-old accountant or lawyer to chase you. It doesn’t work that way. Cougars are mature, experienced, and have a lot of self-respect. Thus, be ready to chase after her. Plan the dates, and keep in touch by calling or even texting her from time to time. Most older ladies have tight career schedules, but they love being chased.

10.   Please Don’t Shy Away From Mentioning Her Kids

If you notice she has kids, show interest and share some advice on how to improve them. Her kids mean a lot to her. Showing interest in them means you’re genuinely interested in her, which would be a big plus to your endeavors.


In summary, courting a cougar is not easy, but you can always win if you employ the right strategies and understand the rules of the game. You should also know where to find these cougars. Not all older women you see around are looking for a young man. Cougarly is an excellent dating site to connect you with classy and beautiful older women. Download the Cougarly dating App, sign up, set up your profile, and start browsing. The dating site will automatically suggest the most suitable cougar profiles based on your preferences.